Religious chain letters are hilarious...

So, my mom likes to send me these "inspirational stories" that are no more than religious chain letters. I usually see the dreaded 3 letter subject "FWD:" and delete it, but today, I read it...and it was hilarious. Allow me to publish it in full for you:

The Brick!!! Read It.

Read this today and don't delete it even if you are too busy!! You'll see.

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister....please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop....' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat... He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not..

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

Send this to every 'beautiful person' you wish to bless.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way..

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Pass this message to seven people except you and me.

You will receive a miracle tomorrow ( just do it)!

First of all...let's not kid ourselves. This never happened. Ever. You know how I know? Because nobody is dumb enough to throw a brick at a moving car. A rock? Maybe. If I had to, I'd throw a rock at somebody's car to get their attention, but a brick? Isn't that a bit excessive? Besides, last time I checked...bricks are kind of heavy. This kid can throw a brick at a moving car but can't pick up his brother? Do you know how hard you'd have to throw a brick at a moving car (doesn't matter how slow it's going) to actually hit it, let alone make a huge dent in it?

Ok, but let us just overlook the implausibility factor for a moment. Lets take it for face value: an inspirational story...a long winded one at that, but inspirational in an odd sort of way (lets face it, there are a ton of these floating around and this one isn't the best one). It's almost acceptable until the end where you MUST pass it along if you want a miracle. That's right...you guessed it. God has a daily quota of miracles to perform, and your name only gets on the list if you forward this to 7 people (not including you and me). Why pray?! START SPAMMING! That's how you get things done! How is this not a chain letter again?

But that's ok, because this provided the biggest laugh of the day for me. My new favorite catchphrase "If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it". For some reason I just hear Peter Griffin saying that and I start cracking up. I have no problem with religious inspirational stories...I think we need them. For crying out loud, the Bible is full of them...but this is chain mail garbage full of cheesey one liners that some crack pot sat around writing thinking "I'm so effin deep and inspiring". Time to FWD: this to the SPAM folder.