*WARNING* - This is most likely NOT work appropriate. As always, at your own risk...
Thanks to Courtney for bringing this to my attention
Thanks to my post berating Twilight, True Blood, and all things vampire, my eyes have been opened by just how far this thing actually reaches. Some girls are obsessed with Robert Pattinson...ok...not my choice (obviously), but I get that they would be gaga over the actor who plays a vampire. Those aren't the ones I'm worried about. I'm worried about the girls that actually want to have sex with VAMPIRES. Now, unless I'm wrong, vampires aren't real, right? So that's why a product like this befuddles me:
THE VAMP (click it and go to the page...I promise it's not that bad/graphic)
That's right ladies...now you can have your very own VAMPIRE DILDO! Why fantasize about what it COULD be like when you can know RIGHT NOW?! This is absurd. How would anybody know how to accurately recreate a vampire penis? What if it's totally different? I surely can't draw you a magical elf vagina simply because it's impossible to know what it would look like...BECAUSE IT'S NOT REAL! Look at this description "with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow"...you don't need a vampire for that! Just get a computer nerd! That's essentialy what you would be buying. You would be buying a replica of a penis of a guy that hasn't been outside in a year. And how about that Emmy award winning video for it! The background music cracks me up. It sounds like music from the that hit musical "Rape in the Back of an Alley". But that's not even the worst part..."Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience". Since I've already beaten the "how would you know" argument to death, let's just look at logistics. Why would you want to pleasure yourself with a popsicle? How could that at all be comfortable? That's why Mr. Freeze never got any action...
Folks, far be it from me to be the one who knocks on hardcore fans. Anybody who knows me knows that I'm pretty into my Batman and KISS...but I think I'd be crossing a line if I bought a mold of Catwoman's breasts...come to think of it, I wonder if they make those...NO...no...stay on point Billy...damn, I lost my train of thought...well the point was, there is a time and a place for fan obsession, and I really don't want to meet the girl that thinks this is an awesome product. Well...maybe I'd meet her, but the girl who puts it in the freezer...we'd have to talk...
-Billy
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
10 things I need to set the record straight about
Public opinion can make or break you. There has to be truth to that sentence. The Black Eyed Peas song "Boom Boom Pow" is in my opinion the worst piece of "music" that has ever been written and/or recorded, however, public opinion has been gracious to it and made it a hit. More often than not, if a big enough group of people like or dislike something they can influence how other people feel or think. Everybody has that one friend who can be swayed any way the wind blows. I won't lie to you friends, I have been a party to this crime many times as well. Maybe I've said I hated something that deep down I loved but wanted to fit in, or maybe gushed about something that I really thought was overrated. Well dear readers, I am here to make amends for my ball-less display of following the social trends. You may applaud me, you may think I'm an idiot or take issue with my stances...but come what may, here are 10 things that everybody loves or hates that I don't agree with:
10. Grand Theft Auto - Everybody and their mother seems to love GTA, but I'll admit...I don't get it...at all. I just don't get the point of it. Most people play video games to escape from reality and become a sports star or an alien gun wielding bad ass...so why on earth would you want to play a game that's pretty much all about life in south central Los Angeles? I mean, I love beating up hookers as much as the next guy don't get me wrong, but if you're really that deprave, why not just go do it in person? It's like kids who get really good at guitar hero and can do it with their eyes closed...why not just pick up a real guitar if you're that good? Why not go steal a real car? Kids these days...no ambition.
9. Bob Dylan - I understand and respect the fact that when it comes to the free wheelin' Bob Dylan he's a legend...but why?! Sometimes I catch myself mumbling and rambling and I think if I could just put it to music maybe I could be as famous as Bob Dylan. The thing about his songs are, they don't offer you anything you don't already know, but people claim it's like life changing poetry. The times they are a changing? Thanks Bob, I was unaware. Everybody needs to get stoned? Really? Alright...
8. Entourage - I've seen about 4 episodes of this show and I absolutely hate it. Everybody on this show is a jerk. Apparently if you're a "real guy's guy" you want to be a part of their entourage and hang out with them. I would stab myself in the face with a fork if I had to spend more than 5 minutes with any of those guys. And while I do find Jeremy Piven amusing, his newest movie The Goods was one of the most excruciatingly painful things I've ever subjected myself to. This is coming from the guy who sliced his Achilles tendon in half...
7. Taylor Hicks - I still remember it like it was yesterday...May of 2006. Katharine McPhee vs Taylor Hicks for the crown of American Idol. Sure Katharine McPhee is hot, but she's a dime a dozen singer. Taylor was something new...something fresh. Of course he won and has become, along with Ruben, one of the least successful Idols of all time. I was one of the 5 people that bought his debut album and I have to say, I love it. I think American Idol was the wrong vehicle from him since it wasn't really his demographic, but exposure is exposure. I suppose you take what you can get. I hear he's doing really well on Broadway in Grease. You go Taylor! Soul Patrol!
6. Grape Jolly Ranchers - For the longest time I was under the impression that everybody loved grape Jolly Ranchers and that they were the hot ticket item. About 5 months ago I brought up this fact and was told that it was in fact the opposite: most people hate grape flavored JRs. So while I was at the mall food court (where any great scientific research is conducted) I did a little survey and asked people their least favorite flavor of JR. Of the 20 some odd people that I asked, it was unanimously grape. Not one single person offered up any other flavor. I don't get the hate. I was under the impression that everyone was in agreement that Yellow was hands down the gnarliest flavor offender of the bunch. Granted, Jolly Ranchers aren't my candy of choice by any stretch of the imagination, but I surely wouldn't refuse a grape one. Oh well...more for me I guess...
5. The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions - Almost everybody has the same thing to say where it concerns the Matrix trilogy: "The first one was bad ass...the second one was weird, and I hated the third one". Sigh. I feel like this is another case of having great expectations that were impossible to live up to instead of letting the story organically unfold. The mythology behind the Matrix universe is so rich with philosophy and history that every time I watch them again it's like discovering a whole new movie. In fact, the first Matrix movie has become my least favorite of the three simply because it paints a very simplistic, broad image of what the Matrix actually is. Tell you what, come over and watch the trilogy with me and I bet you $ that I can change your mind...
4. Monster Energy Drinks - My friend Erick has about 5 Monster drinks a day. He has them as breakfast most days. I always tell him his sperm is going to end up producing some webbed footed children, but alas...he lives off the stuff. A lot of people do. I don't get energy drinks. They taste like unwiped ass and give me a jolt of energy for about 45 minutes before I'm worse off than I was before. It's really no different than crack. You're happy as a clam for a bit, but then you need to keep having more and more to get the feeling. How is this any different? Either this should be illegal or crack should be legal. Take your pick.
3. Wild Wild West - I know, I know. Maybe you could have bought everything I said up until this point. How could I possibly defend Will Smith and Kevin Kline in Wild Wild West. First of all, let me just state for the record that I'm well aware it's not a great movie. However, claims that it's one of the worst movies of all time is just absurd. Are you telling me this is worse than the remake of Rollerball or worse than Strange Wilderness? I didn't think so. I don't get why it's THAT hated...it has Will Smith (who doesn't love Will Smith) and full backal nudity from Salma Hayek...how could it possibly be that bad? It's not. Not by a long shot.
2. Bacon - There are certain things you have to love to be a true man, and bacon is one of them. I just can't hang with it. I hate the smell of it, I hate the taste of it...I even hate the sound of it sizzling. Add to the fact that I couldn't even point out on a graph what part of the anatomy of a pig bacon comes from and it all adds up to me being completely disgusted by just the mere concept. Hash browns are pretty bomb though. I think hash browns should eclipse bacon on the breakfast importance hierarchy.
1. Twilight/True Blood/Anything Vampire Related - When did everybody suddenly get obsessed with Vampires? It's like the nation turned emo all at once. Let's start with Twilight because it's far and away the crappiest of the bunch. I saw Twilight with zero expectations...didn't read the book...hell I didn't even see the trailer. To this day I am still befuddled over what the big deal is. Technically speaking it's a horrible film. It's dark and muddy and the acting/writing is atrocious. The special effects looked like those old PBS Chronicles of Narnia BBC movies they used to have where half of the Narnia creatures were hand drawn. True Blood is the HBO vampire show that I THOUGHT only chicks were into, but apparently it has both genders sucked in (come on...everybody loves puns). The plot lines are so ridiculous that after a couple of episodes I was tempted to throw in Twilight just to ease my suffering. And why does Anna Paquin have to get naked in EVERY episode? I still think of her as the little girl from Fly Away Home. I feel like Jeff Daniels should sit her down and have a talk with her.
Agree? Disagree? I don't care...that's the point. Like what you like. Hate what you hate. Be your own person...look...I just wrote a Bob Dylan song!
- Billy
10. Grand Theft Auto - Everybody and their mother seems to love GTA, but I'll admit...I don't get it...at all. I just don't get the point of it. Most people play video games to escape from reality and become a sports star or an alien gun wielding bad ass...so why on earth would you want to play a game that's pretty much all about life in south central Los Angeles? I mean, I love beating up hookers as much as the next guy don't get me wrong, but if you're really that deprave, why not just go do it in person? It's like kids who get really good at guitar hero and can do it with their eyes closed...why not just pick up a real guitar if you're that good? Why not go steal a real car? Kids these days...no ambition.
9. Bob Dylan - I understand and respect the fact that when it comes to the free wheelin' Bob Dylan he's a legend...but why?! Sometimes I catch myself mumbling and rambling and I think if I could just put it to music maybe I could be as famous as Bob Dylan. The thing about his songs are, they don't offer you anything you don't already know, but people claim it's like life changing poetry. The times they are a changing? Thanks Bob, I was unaware. Everybody needs to get stoned? Really? Alright...
8. Entourage - I've seen about 4 episodes of this show and I absolutely hate it. Everybody on this show is a jerk. Apparently if you're a "real guy's guy" you want to be a part of their entourage and hang out with them. I would stab myself in the face with a fork if I had to spend more than 5 minutes with any of those guys. And while I do find Jeremy Piven amusing, his newest movie The Goods was one of the most excruciatingly painful things I've ever subjected myself to. This is coming from the guy who sliced his Achilles tendon in half...
7. Taylor Hicks - I still remember it like it was yesterday...May of 2006. Katharine McPhee vs Taylor Hicks for the crown of American Idol. Sure Katharine McPhee is hot, but she's a dime a dozen singer. Taylor was something new...something fresh. Of course he won and has become, along with Ruben, one of the least successful Idols of all time. I was one of the 5 people that bought his debut album and I have to say, I love it. I think American Idol was the wrong vehicle from him since it wasn't really his demographic, but exposure is exposure. I suppose you take what you can get. I hear he's doing really well on Broadway in Grease. You go Taylor! Soul Patrol!
6. Grape Jolly Ranchers - For the longest time I was under the impression that everybody loved grape Jolly Ranchers and that they were the hot ticket item. About 5 months ago I brought up this fact and was told that it was in fact the opposite: most people hate grape flavored JRs. So while I was at the mall food court (where any great scientific research is conducted) I did a little survey and asked people their least favorite flavor of JR. Of the 20 some odd people that I asked, it was unanimously grape. Not one single person offered up any other flavor. I don't get the hate. I was under the impression that everyone was in agreement that Yellow was hands down the gnarliest flavor offender of the bunch. Granted, Jolly Ranchers aren't my candy of choice by any stretch of the imagination, but I surely wouldn't refuse a grape one. Oh well...more for me I guess...
5. The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions - Almost everybody has the same thing to say where it concerns the Matrix trilogy: "The first one was bad ass...the second one was weird, and I hated the third one". Sigh. I feel like this is another case of having great expectations that were impossible to live up to instead of letting the story organically unfold. The mythology behind the Matrix universe is so rich with philosophy and history that every time I watch them again it's like discovering a whole new movie. In fact, the first Matrix movie has become my least favorite of the three simply because it paints a very simplistic, broad image of what the Matrix actually is. Tell you what, come over and watch the trilogy with me and I bet you $ that I can change your mind...
4. Monster Energy Drinks - My friend Erick has about 5 Monster drinks a day. He has them as breakfast most days. I always tell him his sperm is going to end up producing some webbed footed children, but alas...he lives off the stuff. A lot of people do. I don't get energy drinks. They taste like unwiped ass and give me a jolt of energy for about 45 minutes before I'm worse off than I was before. It's really no different than crack. You're happy as a clam for a bit, but then you need to keep having more and more to get the feeling. How is this any different? Either this should be illegal or crack should be legal. Take your pick.
3. Wild Wild West - I know, I know. Maybe you could have bought everything I said up until this point. How could I possibly defend Will Smith and Kevin Kline in Wild Wild West. First of all, let me just state for the record that I'm well aware it's not a great movie. However, claims that it's one of the worst movies of all time is just absurd. Are you telling me this is worse than the remake of Rollerball or worse than Strange Wilderness? I didn't think so. I don't get why it's THAT hated...it has Will Smith (who doesn't love Will Smith) and full backal nudity from Salma Hayek...how could it possibly be that bad? It's not. Not by a long shot.
2. Bacon - There are certain things you have to love to be a true man, and bacon is one of them. I just can't hang with it. I hate the smell of it, I hate the taste of it...I even hate the sound of it sizzling. Add to the fact that I couldn't even point out on a graph what part of the anatomy of a pig bacon comes from and it all adds up to me being completely disgusted by just the mere concept. Hash browns are pretty bomb though. I think hash browns should eclipse bacon on the breakfast importance hierarchy.
1. Twilight/True Blood/Anything Vampire Related - When did everybody suddenly get obsessed with Vampires? It's like the nation turned emo all at once. Let's start with Twilight because it's far and away the crappiest of the bunch. I saw Twilight with zero expectations...didn't read the book...hell I didn't even see the trailer. To this day I am still befuddled over what the big deal is. Technically speaking it's a horrible film. It's dark and muddy and the acting/writing is atrocious. The special effects looked like those old PBS Chronicles of Narnia BBC movies they used to have where half of the Narnia creatures were hand drawn. True Blood is the HBO vampire show that I THOUGHT only chicks were into, but apparently it has both genders sucked in (come on...everybody loves puns). The plot lines are so ridiculous that after a couple of episodes I was tempted to throw in Twilight just to ease my suffering. And why does Anna Paquin have to get naked in EVERY episode? I still think of her as the little girl from Fly Away Home. I feel like Jeff Daniels should sit her down and have a talk with her.
Agree? Disagree? I don't care...that's the point. Like what you like. Hate what you hate. Be your own person...look...I just wrote a Bob Dylan song!
- Billy
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sitcom Paradoxes (PART THREE)
PART THREE
Oops. Sorry for the wait. By a "a few days" I ACTUALLY meant a month. Computer problems and blah blah blah. You're not here to read my excuses. You're here because you are driven. You're here because you want the best. You're here because of my incessant spamming on Facebook. Let's get to it shall we?
REMINDER: If under the OFFENDERS line you see that the show is highlighted green and you can click on it, that means that it is linked to a clip or more information about the episode in question
SCENARIO ELEVEN: THE FAKE MARRIAGE
Offenders: Saved by the Bell (The Mamas and the Papas), Family Matters (Urkel and Laura)
No Child Left Behind...falling standardized test scores...apparently not a concern for these schools. No no, it was much more important to teach the kids how to be married. Except they wouldn't be living together...or having sex together...or even really balancing a checkbook together. What was the point of this assignment? How do you pretend to be married in this context? Maxine gives her "husband" an F because he "cheated on her" by looking at another girl at the mall (which he was, for all intents and purposes, well within his rights to do). How as a teacher do you subjectively grade a student for being a husband or wife? I mean the only thing I can think of is domestic violence is an automatic F. In a bit of irony though, both Zack and Kelly and Laura and Steve did end up getting married in the end. Coincidence, or was it all thanks to knowing they could make it because of this assignment????
SCENARIO TWELVE: THE MANY FACES OF JASON MARSDEN
Offenders: Boy Meets World (as Eric's best friend Jason), Step by Step (as JT's best friend Rich), Full House (as wealthy socialite Nelson)
Lon Cheney was a great actor that was called "The Man of 1000 Faces". He's got nothin on Jason Marsden. You always knew that you knew that guy, but you could never put your finger on it. He fit into his new roles like a comfortable pair of slippers. He was always around, but never the center of attention. It's kind of strange that they couldn't find any other actors to be on these shows. It's not like it takes a plethora of talent to be on them. And yet, out of everyone on all of these shows, he's probably doing the best with a HUGE career in voice over work. Jason Marsden...jack of all trades, renaissance man...we salute you.
SCENARIO THIRTEEN: THE WEIRD VISITING FAMILY MEMBER
Offenders: Family Matters (Myrtle Urkel), Full House (Stavros), Step by Step (Cousin Cody, Carol's nephew Flash)
We all have family members that are a little odd...however, we don't bring them around when we're in a ratings slump. Step by Step was an interesting situation since Sasha Mitchell (Cody) was accused of spousal abuse (which turned out not to be the case) and fell in the public eye (aka the 4 people who still watched Step by Step). So we were introduced to the character of Flash, a guy who acted like he had just taken 7 doses of speed and talked like a gyrating crack addict. However, to me this was less annoying and obtrusive as Myrtle and Stavros. It's one thing to introduce an annoying character, but it's a whole other ballgame when you make a principle cast member pull double duty to play another annoying character. Urkel hysteria had reached an all time high, so what better way to kill it off faster than add a female Urkel, which actor Jaleel White looked WAY too into playing. And don't even get me started with John Stamos as the greasy pedophile looking Stavros. Everybody thinks Eddie Murphy was the first person to lose his mind playing multiple characters in movies. Once again, we can trace our history all the way back to TGIF shows...
SCENARIO FOURTEEN: THE MAGIC TRICK GONE WRONG
Offenders: Home Improvement (The Magician Babysitter), Full House (DJ and Stephanie handcuffed together), Family Matters (Murtaugh and Carl)
For some reason, sitcom writers think that inept magicians and magic tricks are hilarious. People getting handcuffed together is the comedy equivalent of a loud fart in the middle of a silent room. The real question is, in the case of Home Improvement, why the hell would you hire a 70 year old magician to watch your three young sons? There's about 5 pedophile/child molestation jokes there but I'll let you use your imagination and come up with your own, kind of like a choose your own adventure book...choose your own pedophile joke...hmmm, I may be on to something...
SCENARIO FIFTEEN: THE STEVE URKEL WORLD DOMINATION TOUR
Offenders: Step by Step (Steve is Mark's science buddy), Full House (Steve helps Stephanie with her new glasses), Boy Meets World (Steve sends a chain letter to Cory Matthews)
I wanted to end on this note because I feel like the 90's sitcom TGIF universe begins and ends with Steve Urkel. In fact, Steve Urkel himself IS the ultimate sitcom paradox, as his existence unravels the very fabric of the sitcom universe. Riding the Urkel craze in the early to mid 90's, ABC decided to give him a cameo on both Step by Step and Full House. While his Full House appearance was less than creative or memorable, his appearance on Step by Step however was very unique in that at the end of an episode of Family Matters he strapped on a rocket pack and flew out of the Winslow house. Seconds later, when the show was over and the new episode of Step by Step started Urkel crash landed in the Lambert house, thus effectively tying the two together and creating an interest in Step by Step for viewers who wouldn't normally watch. This was all dandy and acceptable until the Boy Meets World crossover...
Urkel decided to send a chain letter to his friend, Cory Matthews in Philadelphia. That's all well and fine except for one thing: Cory knows that Full House is a television show because he has made reference to the Olsen twins. But if Steve Urkel has appeared on Full House, that means a paradox has been created because he can't exist in both worlds. The fact that he knows Cory AND Michelle Tanner proves that he is both real and not real. And thus, the sitcom universe unravels at the hands of Steven Q Urkel.
Next time you're watching Nick at Nite or ABC Family and see one of your beloved 90's sitcoms, think about what we've learned here but also think about how much fun it used to be to watch TGIF or Saved by the Bell on Saturday mornings. They don't make 'em like they used to, but we'll always have our fond memories of "Doing the Urkel", "You got it Dude", and trips to the Max...
-Billy
Oops. Sorry for the wait. By a "a few days" I ACTUALLY meant a month. Computer problems and blah blah blah. You're not here to read my excuses. You're here because you are driven. You're here because you want the best. You're here because of my incessant spamming on Facebook. Let's get to it shall we?
REMINDER: If under the OFFENDERS line you see that the show is highlighted green and you can click on it, that means that it is linked to a clip or more information about the episode in question
SCENARIO ELEVEN: THE FAKE MARRIAGE
Offenders: Saved by the Bell (The Mamas and the Papas), Family Matters (Urkel and Laura)
No Child Left Behind...falling standardized test scores...apparently not a concern for these schools. No no, it was much more important to teach the kids how to be married. Except they wouldn't be living together...or having sex together...or even really balancing a checkbook together. What was the point of this assignment? How do you pretend to be married in this context? Maxine gives her "husband" an F because he "cheated on her" by looking at another girl at the mall (which he was, for all intents and purposes, well within his rights to do). How as a teacher do you subjectively grade a student for being a husband or wife? I mean the only thing I can think of is domestic violence is an automatic F. In a bit of irony though, both Zack and Kelly and Laura and Steve did end up getting married in the end. Coincidence, or was it all thanks to knowing they could make it because of this assignment????
SCENARIO TWELVE: THE MANY FACES OF JASON MARSDEN
Offenders: Boy Meets World (as Eric's best friend Jason), Step by Step (as JT's best friend Rich), Full House (as wealthy socialite Nelson)
Lon Cheney was a great actor that was called "The Man of 1000 Faces". He's got nothin on Jason Marsden. You always knew that you knew that guy, but you could never put your finger on it. He fit into his new roles like a comfortable pair of slippers. He was always around, but never the center of attention. It's kind of strange that they couldn't find any other actors to be on these shows. It's not like it takes a plethora of talent to be on them. And yet, out of everyone on all of these shows, he's probably doing the best with a HUGE career in voice over work. Jason Marsden...jack of all trades, renaissance man...we salute you.
SCENARIO THIRTEEN: THE WEIRD VISITING FAMILY MEMBER
Offenders: Family Matters (Myrtle Urkel), Full House (Stavros), Step by Step (Cousin Cody, Carol's nephew Flash)
We all have family members that are a little odd...however, we don't bring them around when we're in a ratings slump. Step by Step was an interesting situation since Sasha Mitchell (Cody) was accused of spousal abuse (which turned out not to be the case) and fell in the public eye (aka the 4 people who still watched Step by Step). So we were introduced to the character of Flash, a guy who acted like he had just taken 7 doses of speed and talked like a gyrating crack addict. However, to me this was less annoying and obtrusive as Myrtle and Stavros. It's one thing to introduce an annoying character, but it's a whole other ballgame when you make a principle cast member pull double duty to play another annoying character. Urkel hysteria had reached an all time high, so what better way to kill it off faster than add a female Urkel, which actor Jaleel White looked WAY too into playing. And don't even get me started with John Stamos as the greasy pedophile looking Stavros. Everybody thinks Eddie Murphy was the first person to lose his mind playing multiple characters in movies. Once again, we can trace our history all the way back to TGIF shows...
SCENARIO FOURTEEN: THE MAGIC TRICK GONE WRONG
Offenders: Home Improvement (The Magician Babysitter), Full House (DJ and Stephanie handcuffed together), Family Matters (Murtaugh and Carl)
For some reason, sitcom writers think that inept magicians and magic tricks are hilarious. People getting handcuffed together is the comedy equivalent of a loud fart in the middle of a silent room. The real question is, in the case of Home Improvement, why the hell would you hire a 70 year old magician to watch your three young sons? There's about 5 pedophile/child molestation jokes there but I'll let you use your imagination and come up with your own, kind of like a choose your own adventure book...choose your own pedophile joke...hmmm, I may be on to something...
SCENARIO FIFTEEN: THE STEVE URKEL WORLD DOMINATION TOUR
Offenders: Step by Step (Steve is Mark's science buddy), Full House (Steve helps Stephanie with her new glasses), Boy Meets World (Steve sends a chain letter to Cory Matthews)
I wanted to end on this note because I feel like the 90's sitcom TGIF universe begins and ends with Steve Urkel. In fact, Steve Urkel himself IS the ultimate sitcom paradox, as his existence unravels the very fabric of the sitcom universe. Riding the Urkel craze in the early to mid 90's, ABC decided to give him a cameo on both Step by Step and Full House. While his Full House appearance was less than creative or memorable, his appearance on Step by Step however was very unique in that at the end of an episode of Family Matters he strapped on a rocket pack and flew out of the Winslow house. Seconds later, when the show was over and the new episode of Step by Step started Urkel crash landed in the Lambert house, thus effectively tying the two together and creating an interest in Step by Step for viewers who wouldn't normally watch. This was all dandy and acceptable until the Boy Meets World crossover...
Urkel decided to send a chain letter to his friend, Cory Matthews in Philadelphia. That's all well and fine except for one thing: Cory knows that Full House is a television show because he has made reference to the Olsen twins. But if Steve Urkel has appeared on Full House, that means a paradox has been created because he can't exist in both worlds. The fact that he knows Cory AND Michelle Tanner proves that he is both real and not real. And thus, the sitcom universe unravels at the hands of Steven Q Urkel.
Next time you're watching Nick at Nite or ABC Family and see one of your beloved 90's sitcoms, think about what we've learned here but also think about how much fun it used to be to watch TGIF or Saved by the Bell on Saturday mornings. They don't make 'em like they used to, but we'll always have our fond memories of "Doing the Urkel", "You got it Dude", and trips to the Max...
-Billy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
