Public opinion can make or break you. There has to be truth to that sentence. The Black Eyed Peas song "Boom Boom Pow" is in my opinion the worst piece of "music" that has ever been written and/or recorded, however, public opinion has been gracious to it and made it a hit. More often than not, if a big enough group of people like or dislike something they can influence how other people feel or think. Everybody has that one friend who can be swayed any way the wind blows. I won't lie to you friends, I have been a party to this crime many times as well. Maybe I've said I hated something that deep down I loved but wanted to fit in, or maybe gushed about something that I really thought was overrated. Well dear readers, I am here to make amends for my ball-less display of following the social trends. You may applaud me, you may think I'm an idiot or take issue with my stances...but come what may, here are 10 things that everybody loves or hates that I don't agree with:
10. Grand Theft Auto - Everybody and their mother seems to love GTA, but I'll admit...I don't get it...at all. I just don't get the point of it. Most people play video games to escape from reality and become a sports star or an alien gun wielding bad ass...so why on earth would you want to play a game that's pretty much all about life in south central Los Angeles? I mean, I love beating up hookers as much as the next guy don't get me wrong, but if you're really that deprave, why not just go do it in person? It's like kids who get really good at guitar hero and can do it with their eyes closed...why not just pick up a real guitar if you're that good? Why not go steal a real car? Kids these days...no ambition.
9. Bob Dylan - I understand and respect the fact that when it comes to the free wheelin' Bob Dylan he's a legend...but why?! Sometimes I catch myself mumbling and rambling and I think if I could just put it to music maybe I could be as famous as Bob Dylan. The thing about his songs are, they don't offer you anything you don't already know, but people claim it's like life changing poetry. The times they are a changing? Thanks Bob, I was unaware. Everybody needs to get stoned? Really? Alright...
8. Entourage - I've seen about 4 episodes of this show and I absolutely hate it. Everybody on this show is a jerk. Apparently if you're a "real guy's guy" you want to be a part of their entourage and hang out with them. I would stab myself in the face with a fork if I had to spend more than 5 minutes with any of those guys. And while I do find Jeremy Piven amusing, his newest movie The Goods was one of the most excruciatingly painful things I've ever subjected myself to. This is coming from the guy who sliced his Achilles tendon in half...
7. Taylor Hicks - I still remember it like it was yesterday...May of 2006. Katharine McPhee vs Taylor Hicks for the crown of American Idol. Sure Katharine McPhee is hot, but she's a dime a dozen singer. Taylor was something new...something fresh. Of course he won and has become, along with Ruben, one of the least successful Idols of all time. I was one of the 5 people that bought his debut album and I have to say, I love it. I think American Idol was the wrong vehicle from him since it wasn't really his demographic, but exposure is exposure. I suppose you take what you can get. I hear he's doing really well on Broadway in Grease. You go Taylor! Soul Patrol!
6. Grape Jolly Ranchers - For the longest time I was under the impression that everybody loved grape Jolly Ranchers and that they were the hot ticket item. About 5 months ago I brought up this fact and was told that it was in fact the opposite: most people hate grape flavored JRs. So while I was at the mall food court (where any great scientific research is conducted) I did a little survey and asked people their least favorite flavor of JR. Of the 20 some odd people that I asked, it was unanimously grape. Not one single person offered up any other flavor. I don't get the hate. I was under the impression that everyone was in agreement that Yellow was hands down the gnarliest flavor offender of the bunch. Granted, Jolly Ranchers aren't my candy of choice by any stretch of the imagination, but I surely wouldn't refuse a grape one. Oh well...more for me I guess...
5. The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions - Almost everybody has the same thing to say where it concerns the Matrix trilogy: "The first one was bad ass...the second one was weird, and I hated the third one". Sigh. I feel like this is another case of having great expectations that were impossible to live up to instead of letting the story organically unfold. The mythology behind the Matrix universe is so rich with philosophy and history that every time I watch them again it's like discovering a whole new movie. In fact, the first Matrix movie has become my least favorite of the three simply because it paints a very simplistic, broad image of what the Matrix actually is. Tell you what, come over and watch the trilogy with me and I bet you $ that I can change your mind...
4. Monster Energy Drinks - My friend Erick has about 5 Monster drinks a day. He has them as breakfast most days. I always tell him his sperm is going to end up producing some webbed footed children, but alas...he lives off the stuff. A lot of people do. I don't get energy drinks. They taste like unwiped ass and give me a jolt of energy for about 45 minutes before I'm worse off than I was before. It's really no different than crack. You're happy as a clam for a bit, but then you need to keep having more and more to get the feeling. How is this any different? Either this should be illegal or crack should be legal. Take your pick.
3. Wild Wild West - I know, I know. Maybe you could have bought everything I said up until this point. How could I possibly defend Will Smith and Kevin Kline in Wild Wild West. First of all, let me just state for the record that I'm well aware it's not a great movie. However, claims that it's one of the worst movies of all time is just absurd. Are you telling me this is worse than the remake of Rollerball or worse than Strange Wilderness? I didn't think so. I don't get why it's THAT hated...it has Will Smith (who doesn't love Will Smith) and full backal nudity from Salma Hayek...how could it possibly be that bad? It's not. Not by a long shot.
2. Bacon - There are certain things you have to love to be a true man, and bacon is one of them. I just can't hang with it. I hate the smell of it, I hate the taste of it...I even hate the sound of it sizzling. Add to the fact that I couldn't even point out on a graph what part of the anatomy of a pig bacon comes from and it all adds up to me being completely disgusted by just the mere concept. Hash browns are pretty bomb though. I think hash browns should eclipse bacon on the breakfast importance hierarchy.
1. Twilight/True Blood/Anything Vampire Related - When did everybody suddenly get obsessed with Vampires? It's like the nation turned emo all at once. Let's start with Twilight because it's far and away the crappiest of the bunch. I saw Twilight with zero expectations...didn't read the book...hell I didn't even see the trailer. To this day I am still befuddled over what the big deal is. Technically speaking it's a horrible film. It's dark and muddy and the acting/writing is atrocious. The special effects looked like those old PBS Chronicles of Narnia BBC movies they used to have where half of the Narnia creatures were hand drawn. True Blood is the HBO vampire show that I THOUGHT only chicks were into, but apparently it has both genders sucked in (come on...everybody loves puns). The plot lines are so ridiculous that after a couple of episodes I was tempted to throw in Twilight just to ease my suffering. And why does Anna Paquin have to get naked in EVERY episode? I still think of her as the little girl from Fly Away Home. I feel like Jeff Daniels should sit her down and have a talk with her.
Agree? Disagree? I don't care...that's the point. Like what you like. Hate what you hate. Be your own person...look...I just wrote a Bob Dylan song!
- Billy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I would like to offer up a big 'AMEN' to your number 1 complaint. And while I haven't actually watched any of the vampire-related things, I'm annoyed that people make such a big deal about them. Also, the Twilight guy looks like such a creeper and it really bugs me that he's the new it thang.
ReplyDeleteIll go number by number with you my friend.
ReplyDelete10. GTA 2 was amazing, 3 was a break thru for open world games, past that the games are too damn long, it feels like a job driving to missions... had a little fun online with GTA4 but 90% of that was in the damned lobby just fucking around jumping cars and flying helicopters. So, ill meet you 3/4 of the way on this one.
9. I like Bob Dylan, his insane singing style(which is so fun to sing in)and his independent modern contemporaries(The Felice Brothers, Deer Tick). But i guess this just comes down to personal preference, his lyrics are mostly nonsense though(also see RHCP).
8. I've seen a few episode too and it wasnt that great, i do like Jeremy Piven though for some reason.
7. Dont even know the music, dont care in any way about anything American Idol related. I just plan hate network "reality" shows in all forms...
6. I honestly dont remember eating any grape JRs, i only ever ate watermelon and apple anyways.
5. I still like the first one the best but i agree that the expansion of the Matrix mythos is worth overlooking most of the bad things about the second two movies, although the Animatrix opened it up much more than the movies... nothing will make up for the atrocious special effects in Reloaded though, its like the texturing guy died and they never hired a new one... my favorite little scene is the quick fight between Neo and the 3 agents at the beginning of Reloaded, well choreographed pwnage.
4. Very bad for you too, I OCCASIONALLY have a Full Throttle Citrus, but I actually like the taste of that one.
3. "AWW HEEEELLL NAH!" Gotta love Will Smith, campy and stupid but fun and watchable. Not even close to the worst movie ever.
2. I love bacon, fuck you(has to be cooked correctly though). Two words BACON SALT, makes almost anything better.
1. Give me some old fashioned Buffy for my "vamps". Past that, meh. True Blood is Vampire porn, so i see the appeal at least but yeah everyone is obsessed with the living impaired.
Keep em coming buddy.